Pupdate from the Crate: Swirly Fishing and Scary Things

Hey, hey, hey....guys...guys....guess what?  Oh Hi.  Well here is what I have to say today about being scared of stuff that is happening right now but I'm gonna show something I'm NOT scared of and you will think I'm really really brave!

So you see this?  Mom brought this in from someplace I don't know about and took off the cover and ta-da!  This is here and nope, I didn't even bark once and I didn't even mess with with it cause it seems to be special and Dad said "oh grrrreat!  I can't wait to get the phone call about this." And mom said no dog before me, not even Bruno ever touched this, so I'm not gonna either (but I did try to examine the broom thing a little closer and I got a LOOK from mom and so I just stepped away).  I'm pretty brave, unless it is a stuffed rabbit sitting on a horsey when you least expect it.

Since there was that incident with the aliens in the house last week, Mom thought for sure I would freak out about this, but I'm just fine with it.  But guess what I'm NOT so fine with?  What is happening outside, something Mom calls FALL and stuff gets ON me from everywhere!  It is falling from the sky, something ruffles my fur, probably an invisible alien trying to touch me, and it is NOISY!  All kinds of spooky noises come from the "up-there" and then everything on the ground moves around and goes swirly around me.  I never know where to look next.  🙀🙀🙀. Sorry, I had to use a scaredy cat emoji cause they don't make dog faces, but you get it.

So another thing I learned new was something mom calls "fishing" and I didn't even know I was doing it!  I learned about it real fast when mom called dad in a hurry up after she found a ton of really wet little wads of stuff all on her bedroom floor and saw a trail of water leading back to dad's swirly room.

So what happened, was that I was going there to get a drink out of the swirly, cause dad leaves the swirly open just for me, and what do you know but hey! there was floaty stuff in there!  Hah!  Dad left me something to play with!  

Now don't freak out, cause mom did really really bad when she saw it and called dad in giant panic DEMANDING to know if he did something called "flushed" that morning or if he thought I ate people poop out of the swirly.  Blech.....does she think I'd do THAT?   hmmmm......

Boy was she fired up!  All I was doing was playing in the swirly with the floaty paper stuff then it stuck to me so I got it off on the carpet and I did it again and again till all of it was out, even ALL the water in there.

Well, I heard mom say to dad "THIS IS NOT FUNNY!" And he told her it was just clean water, and yes, he flushed cause he isn't a complete moron, and every morning after he makes himself beautiful, he wipes his sink and counter with clean toilet paper.  He forgot to flush after that part, so she should be happy he is keeping his bathroom clean......

Wow.  That was a tense time.  I keep going back looking for something to play with in the swirlys we have around here but mom seems to be one step ahead of me. 😤😤

Well. I have to go now.  I have a vet appointment today cause I barfed up again today and Mom is worried.  So, I will let you know what we find out and in the meantime, I hope you have the BEST DAY EVER and good luck with your fishing - if you do it!

xox   Ardie

Pupdate from the Crate: Pup Catching Up!

Hello to my best friends in the whole world!  I'm sorry I've been gone for a while but too much happens too fast and I'm finding out my mom is a slug sometimes and she won't help me with my computer stuff unless I jump on her Ipad while she is playing online poker or something and DEMAND attention but then I don't get to go on the computer cause she gets grumpy.

Well, anyway.  Today, I lifted my leg when I peed!  Mom was amazed and I thought it was really cool except I didn't keep my balance good, and I did it by sticking my leg out backward and didn't lean right like boy dogs do so I almost tipped over.  Then I decided to do it again and when I had to potty I lifted my leg more out to the side....but it was my FRONT leg and I could barely hold it up while I was trying to squat and balance.

But the good news is I didn't wet my front leg, which I've been doing a lot more of lately, and I've got to find a better way to potty, I think.

I'm sure you heard Mom left me for 700 days and went to a sewing camp to make a coat that Dad says he could buy her a coat for a lot less money than a plane ticket, a week in a hotel, all that fabric and.....well, I stopped listening to him cause he gave me marshmallows at night, and man are they good!

I quit looking around the house for mom around the 300th day.  I was sorta sad, but then every day I got to go to day care for the whole day and I played and played and played and it was the best day ever cause dad also let me sleep with him even tho mom said none of that while she was gone. 

Then, you know my dew claw has been infected and I took medicine that dad had to end up pushing down my throat because I have a Super Ardie taster and I can find that pill in anything  -even yogurt and peanut butter and I spit it out.  Now, dad told mom how to work me and now SHE even puts in my throat so I can't spit it out, but then she gives me a yummy treat and kisses me all over my face so I'm ok.

But then, last week I threw up a lot, and on Saturday, mom says maybe I even throwed up some blood so she is giving me a tummy medicine and watching me like a hawk but I didn't do it today.  I only do it at night, in my crate and mostly it isn't food, but that is deeeee-sgusting to talk about so you need to call my mom if you want to talk about that stuff.  She will keep you posted.

So then, one day, after my Deana came with the wild-people puppy who screeches at me, I came into the house and totally flipped out.  I screamed my lungs out twice in 10 minutes cause some ALIEN got into our house and scared the daylights out of me.

When my Deana comes, she helps mom with the heavy cleaning and mom says she is an angel, so I watch her drag Oreck around by his long neck, then she does something with the Steam Monster that breathes hot hot steam and makes our floors wet.

Well then, she left and I came into the kitchen and as I came around the island to get a drink - THERE IT WAS!  I froze in my tracks and started the warning alarm at full blast!  Mom was going the other way so she didn't see it but I scared her so bad she almost threw her bottle of water on the ceiling.  This was an EMERGENCY!!

I could not even go near that thing!  OMG!  I was yelling "MOM! MOM! MMMMOOOOM!!!" and she came to the rescue cause she went to my bowl where that thing was and touched it.  Then I could see it was safe to come over and what do you know......hah.....I'm a silly dog.....it was the drip towel that sits on the floor by my water bowl to wipe my face!!!  Well, that was a relief.  I thought it was an alien.

Then, just as I was over that fit, I saw IT!  Out of the corner of my eye, there IT was and the screaming started all over again!   MOM mom momom mmmmmyy  hellpppp!  It's an ALIEN!  SAVE US ALL!

It scared me so bad my hair stood up and made mom jump to the rescue again.  She always has this very calmy voice and she always starts with  "Geeze Lousie, Ardie!" and then we go look together.  Well, I'll tell you this - I never expected to see THAT in my living room!  Mom showed me that it was a stuffed lamb sitting on a toy walking horsie that the people-puppy left out when he went home.   Geeze Louise!  They let little people play with such scary stuff?  Man, that little guy is really brave. 

So now, mom says we sold our house and have to find a rental that will allow me.  That is no easy trick here, so she is going nuts plus she can't make any down payments until she has the money in her hands (I've been listening carefully to lots and lots of talking from Dad on this topic so I'm understanding a lot more) and Mom says she doesn't want to share a bathroom with dad cause they have had separate bathrooms for 10 years and she wants to sleep on the first floor so no steps and can't be scared to stay alone in a place, and why does it have to be now when Dad is so busy and can't be even in town to help us move and.....I need a nap.

Well, that's it for today.  I need to get the stuffing out of my piggy. 

Sending you Super Ardie love and kisses and prayers that no one shoves a pill down your throat today and that you have the BEST DAY EVER!

xox - Ardie, the piggy un-stuffer