Well, anyway. Today, I lifted my leg when I peed! Mom was amazed and I thought it was really cool except I didn't keep my balance good, and I did it by sticking my leg out backward and didn't lean right like boy dogs do so I almost tipped over. Then I decided to do it again and when I had to potty I lifted my leg more out to the side....but it was my FRONT leg and I could barely hold it up while I was trying to squat and balance.
But the good news is I didn't wet my front leg, which I've been doing a lot more of lately, and I've got to find a better way to potty, I think.
I'm sure you heard Mom left me for 700 days and went to a sewing camp to make a coat that Dad says he could buy her a coat for a lot less money than a plane ticket, a week in a hotel, all that fabric and.....well, I stopped listening to him cause he gave me marshmallows at night, and man are they good!
I quit looking around the house for mom around the 300th day. I was sorta sad, but then every day I got to go to day care for the whole day and I played and played and played and it was the best day ever cause dad also let me sleep with him even tho mom said none of that while she was gone.
Then, you know my dew claw has been infected and I took medicine that dad had to end up pushing down my throat because I have a Super Ardie taster and I can find that pill in anything -even yogurt and peanut butter and I spit it out. Now, dad told mom how to work me and now SHE even puts in my throat so I can't spit it out, but then she gives me a yummy treat and kisses me all over my face so I'm ok.
But then, last week I threw up a lot, and on Saturday, mom says maybe I even throwed up some blood so she is giving me a tummy medicine and watching me like a hawk but I didn't do it today. I only do it at night, in my crate and mostly it isn't food, but that is deeeee-sgusting to talk about so you need to call my mom if you want to talk about that stuff. She will keep you posted.
So then, one day, after my Deana came with the wild-people puppy who screeches at me, I came into the house and totally flipped out. I screamed my lungs out twice in 10 minutes cause some ALIEN got into our house and scared the daylights out of me.
When my Deana comes, she helps mom with the heavy cleaning and mom says she is an angel, so I watch her drag Oreck around by his long neck, then she does something with the Steam Monster that breathes hot hot steam and makes our floors wet.
Well then, she left and I came into the kitchen and as I came around the island to get a drink - THERE IT WAS! I froze in my tracks and started the warning alarm at full blast! Mom was going the other way so she didn't see it but I scared her so bad she almost threw her bottle of water on the ceiling. This was an EMERGENCY!!
I could not even go near that thing! OMG! I was yelling "MOM! MOM! MMMMOOOOM!!!" and she came to the rescue cause she went to my bowl where that thing was and touched it. Then I could see it was safe to come over and what do you know......hah.....I'm a silly dog.....it was the drip towel that sits on the floor by my water bowl to wipe my face!!! Well, that was a relief. I thought it was an alien.
Then, just as I was over that fit, I saw IT! Out of the corner of my eye, there IT was and the screaming started all over again! MOM mom momom mmmmmyy hellpppp! It's an ALIEN! SAVE US ALL!
It scared me so bad my hair stood up and made mom jump to the rescue again. She always has this very calmy voice and she always starts with "Geeze Lousie, Ardie!" and then we go look together. Well, I'll tell you this - I never expected to see THAT in my living room! Mom showed me that it was a stuffed lamb sitting on a toy walking horsie that the people-puppy left out when he went home. Geeze Louise! They let little people play with such scary stuff? Man, that little guy is really brave.
So now, mom says we sold our house and have to find a rental that will allow me. That is no easy trick here, so she is going nuts plus she can't make any down payments until she has the money in her hands (I've been listening carefully to lots and lots of talking from Dad on this topic so I'm understanding a lot more) and Mom says she doesn't want to share a bathroom with dad cause they have had separate bathrooms for 10 years and she wants to sleep on the first floor so no steps and can't be scared to stay alone in a place, and why does it have to be now when Dad is so busy and can't be even in town to help us move and.....I need a nap.
Well, that's it for today. I need to get the stuffing out of my piggy.
Sending you Super Ardie love and kisses and prayers that no one shoves a pill down your throat today and that you have the BEST DAY EVER!
xox - Ardie, the piggy un-stuffer
hey Ardie maybe mom can try some natural healing with the dew claw and bad tummy... I bet she has some things in that oily bag of tricks she can apply to help with both.
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