My mom says that my people-sister, Leslie and her husband Joe, made up the most awesome ever announcement and that they are so excited about having the best day ever that they goofed up the date on the picture but nobody cares cause no body can even ever go backward and have anything happen, let alone a baby be borned.
So this is their picture! When I saw it, I freaked out cause I though a baby got arrested and then I panicked and that made mom eee-splain to me about where babies come from cause I don't know and then I got grossed out about the "the talk" cause it seems that people babies are made a bit like puppy babies and when I got to thinking about that, and to me, it seems pretty unpleasant that my people sister and her guy would be out in the front yard naked jumping on each other and wrestling. UGH.
Not that my people-sister isn't pretty, cause she is bee-you-tee-full and my Joe is a stud-cupcake (Ardie! no it's "muffin" - not cupcake - you weirdo), but still my mind is trying to block out that picture of all that and just focus on the new bald puppy coming soon!
THEN - I thought about how puppies are made and if what mom says is TRUE - well, I'm even more Deeees-gusted cause I think I tried to make a puppy on Murray's head the last time we wrestled together! Blech!
So, now while mom is having the best day ever cause she can run around and talk and talk and talk about the new baby coming, I have to keep busy and so I found a cool sheep on the bed in the spare room and got busy with it.
Used to be, that I could not go in the spare room cause it had a closed tight door, but NOW I sleep in the spare room with mom cause she says the new bed sucks and she isn't gonna sleep on that thing for love nor money and dad tried to give her money the other day to cuddle with him in that stupid bed and then mom must have gotten upset cause she got all wiggly and a great rumpus started like I've never seen before and I think I blacked out for about 45 seconds, but when I came to, mom said - NOT NO! NUH UH! I'm not coming back here until the new bed comes" and I heard Dad saying some prayers that started with "Dear Jesus....."
Anyway - back to the sheep. So, I got the sheep and plucked out his eyes and ripped off his nose and then got the stuffing out of his head and it was the BEST DAY EVER I thought, but then mom got on the phone and I played and played and who knew that sheep feet are loaded with little beady things! Woooo hoooo! Those things go every where! Like snow inside!
But mom says it was her fault cause she should have taken the sheep away right away, and now it's in the trash. But... I want to show you a picture of the stuff I leave alone! Ya huh! See that giant thing on the door? Well - that freaked me out and I leave THAT alone. I will go by it when a bell goes off in my house - which means a person has appeared on the other side of that door, but then, I go away - pretty fast.
See! I'm almost a good boy!! Wow - that was a lot of news, eh? Well, mom says it's been building up and she says that now that she can talk about the new baby, well - it's likely that the city will warm up several degrees as all her hot air and excitedness gets out of her! Good news for the people I guess. . . . .
So that's it! We are busy thinking up names for the new baby and I keep yelling "Sheepy! Sheepy!" but mom says NOARDIE!, people are never named "sheepy" and so I have to think more.
Hope you are having the BEST DAY EVER and xox to everyone one!
Love, Ardie the Destroyer
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