Pupdate from the Crate: Poop Discussion Warning

Hi everyone!  First things first.  Mom wants you to see this picture of me:

Please refer to it often during this blog post.  She says she NEEDS to look at it a lot to remind herself that I am a sweet adorable little puppy-dude who can't help doing certain puppy things even if they seem gross to people.  So here we start with me smelling a pretty flower!  Actually, I chomped it twice before mom could get a picture of me and what I am really doing is pouting cause she won't let me chomp it again.  My teeth are screaming in my head...bite it, BITE IT biteitbiteitbite ITTTTT!  But I didn't because I told my teeth to just relax or they will be in as much trouble as my tongue was in, because my tongue was acting out, now I was here in this situation.

So, I was having the best day ever and worked with mom on attention training stuff in the yard which means my job is to get distracted, which I am EXCELLENT at doing, and her job is to get me to stop being distracted and come right to her or look right at her.  I was wonderful at that so long as the turkey hotdog treats held out, and even a few times when I didn't get a treat, I still did great!  I got lots and lots of turkey dog bits!

Here is where the hotdogs got me into trouble.  If it wasn't for their extreme yumminess, this probably would not have happened.  So, you know, I had ALL those hotdog bits and then I took a nap and then I went out and then I pooped and then....GAG ALERT....I looked at that poop really close cause I think I thought there was hotdogs in it and for sure my nose said YES! ARDIE!! THere are hotdogs in your poop!!!!  I mean my nose was literally screaming in my head so my tongue shouted back "yahoooo!  Let's eat it!" And right at the first lick mom about had a coronary shouting NONO NOOOOOO ARDIE!!!"  She used words like "blech!" beh-beh, caca, and DEEEE-sgusting!  She was talking loud and moving fast.

The next thing I know, I was in the house and having my tongue wiped off and she made me sniff this flower so she can teach my nose and tongue and mouth what is ok, and then when I chomped it, it turns out she said the same stuff as when I licked poop so I'm thinking that flower isn't nearly as good as as.....well....you know.  That picture is actually me pouting while mom holds the flower in my face.  Notice my sad eyes?  Ya huh....I just about had it.

So today, mom is gonna try new treats.  Now she says she doesn't trust me witmh my own....you know...and she keeps saying NONE OF THE OTHER DOGS EVER DID THAT! and I keep thinking, well they didn't know what they were missing.....

I'm out in the dog yard now, hiding from Oreck.  I thought he only came on days when the little bald people-puppy named Sawyer came here, but he isn't here today and I know mom is dragging Oreck around by his skinny neck letting him eat up all the yummy stuff left on the floor.  I am still afraid of him and being outside is better for my nerves.  Besides, I can eat giant ants out there and mom can't stop me!  She tries, but there are just too many and my mouth seems to just love them!  All this time, mom thought I was eating sticky sweet cottonwood pods, but yesterday she made me spit it out and when it ran away.....well....she  had to hold the fence to keep herself upright and not faint dead away right in my dog yard.

My mom seems to be .... Uh....I guess you'd call her....delicate.  Yeah, that's her problem.

Hope you have the best day ever and stay away from turkey hotdogs unless you want real trouble.    xox Ardie