Well, this week has been interesting. I'm getting so very big but mom hardly notices. So yesterday I decided to eat soap. I've been smelling it for a long time now when I play in her shower with hangy-down dog washy spray thing but guess what? Suddenly, I can reach it wayyyyyyy up there on that tiny little shelf! Yeah, I can so I did and once my mouth had it, my brain was in heaven! I shot right past mom in a split second and started to enjoy that bar of Neutragena soap! I didn't take the Irish Spring soap....too spicy for me.
Right away mom knew something was up and she got me before I could really enjoy that soap, but I will tell you this.....I held onto the that bar of soap like no tomorrow! Mom had to pry my mouth off it all the time I was giving her the "LOOK" out of the top of my eyes that says "NOPE.NOT GONNA. MINE! mine mine!" She is one strong mom and I didn't get to keep the soap (sad face).
So, then I went looking for that soap while she was getting her makeup on and I remembered the same smell is sometimes in that big inside swimmy pool where I get a bath. She calls it the Jacuzzi tub and it is really tall and she has to lift me in and out but the next thing you know, I was INSIDE that tub! Hah! My legs are growing! I just popped inside and mom poked herself in her eye with her makeup stuff when I did it. So while I'm searching for soap she says "well, young man, I hope you are happy. Now you are in there and there's nothing you can do, so you will just need to sit there until I finish getting ready!" she didn't seem quite as excited as I was that I could get in there by myself now.
So I decided to curl up and have a nap and wait it out. Then, she left to get camera to show you all how I fit in the tub, but she never made it cause I just jumped right out of that giant tub and came along with her! My mom is so easily amazed. She must have a dull life because that was all she could talk about the whole day. She told dad she remembered when Bruno figured out how to get in the tub by himself, and what a surprise it was when he got big enough to open the slider door to the bathroom and climbed right in the tub WITH mom! I heard her say that there was no for her and a 100 lb dog so one of them had to get out, and Bruno was swimming then, so it had to be her and no one heard her calling for help (DAD!) so she had to do it all herself which she then said ruined her entire relax, and started a whole new bath privacy policy around our house.
Speaking of tubs, I've been having other water adventures this week! Ya huh! I love the little pool, but I don't like our big pool at all, in fact, it sometimes has aliens in it, and it does something funny to my people when they get in it....their legs disappear and they can't walk right. They walk like the aliens in there....sort of just floating in a weird way and you can't predict when they will get sucked under and go completely invisible. It is VERY SCARY and I can't get near it. In fact, I scream my lungs out when an alien is in the pool and I see it. Sometimes it turns out to be dad, or my other people, but I tiptoe right up there hollering and yelling "I DO Believe in SPOOKS....I DO BELIEVE in spooks!" until my brain figures it all out. Very scary, this pool thing.
Usually, these alien-water-things have no eyes, so you can never see what they are thinking, but man, once you get them out of water they play dead so good that you would never guess how speedy they are in water. We have one captured now, under the picnic table and it just lays there with its huge round hole of a mouth, waiting, just waiting, for its chance to grab people and try to eat them around their middles. Mom says it's something called an "inner tube" and it doesn't eat people, but I don't believe her.
We also had some sky aliens here that tried to get me, but I stayed far away and just watched them from the floor. They keep getting smaller and smaller and don't move any more, so my trick of ignoring them seems to be working.
In my new best ever summer, I am learning to stay put in my dog yard for quite some time, like a bid dog, without freaking out. One day though, I thought mom had forgotten about me and I called her and called her and she never came! So, I decided to get quiet and sit still and use my mind to call her like I do when she gives me treats. So I sat and waited. I sat and stared. I was like an Ardie statue. I barely even blinked. And you know what? I had to sit like that for 20 HOURS before she came for me! I haughty I was gonna die out there just waiting, but mom says I am exaggerating, but I am not. She said it was less than 20 minutes and she was so proud of me that she watched me just sitting there all that time! Well....I NEVER!! I think I got tricked. The next time I went out to my yard, I lost track of time and had a blast digging a cave in my dirt and I forgot to be worried for a long long time. My mom has some super mind control over me!
So, now I see that my last post had 1,600+ page views! Woooo hoooo! Well, mom says don't get excited because that could be Aunt Margie and Aunt Nancy looking at it 600 times each, but I personally don't think so, so maybe I am getting famous? Ha! I'll buy my own bar of soap when that happens!
Have a beautiful best July ever and give soap a try, you won't know how yummy it is until you do! Xox forever, Ardie
Oh you just gave me some gift ideas for your first birthday Ardie, hmm maybe a watch or some Neutrogena bath soap. Or some little swimmies so we can get you in that pool... Hope you keep having the best summer ever. Love Aunt Marge.
ReplyDeleteOh, Ardie, you think of the best things to do!
ReplyDeleteLove,
HenRo