Pupdate from the Crate: BIGggggg News!!

HEY EVERYONE!  I have B - I - G news!  My mom says that we are gonna have a new little bald puppy in May 2017!  Ya huh!  :)  :)  And this is the coolest part - it's gonna be living with Murray, my cousin dog!  Now, finally, he gets to see what it's been like for me with having Sawyer in all my stuff and scaring the daylights out of me sometimes and then sometimes just freaking out and then crying and then laughing and then stinking up the house.

My mom says that my people-sister, Leslie and her husband Joe, made up the most awesome ever announcement and that they are so excited about having the best day ever that they goofed up the date on the picture but nobody cares cause no body can even ever go backward and have anything happen, let alone a baby be borned.
 
 


 
So this is their picture!  When I saw it, I freaked out cause I though a baby got arrested and then I panicked and that made mom eee-splain to me about where babies come from cause I don't know and then I got grossed out about the "the talk" cause it seems that people babies are made a bit like puppy babies and when I got to thinking about that, and to me, it seems pretty unpleasant that my people sister and her guy would be out in the front yard naked jumping on each other and wrestling.  UGH.

Not that my people-sister isn't pretty, cause she is bee-you-tee-full and my Joe is a stud-cupcake (Ardie!  no it's "muffin" - not cupcake - you weirdo), but still my mind is trying to block out that picture of all that and just focus on the new bald puppy coming soon!

THEN - I thought about how puppies are made and if what mom says is TRUE - well, I'm even more Deeees-gusted cause I think I tried to make a puppy on Murray's head the last time we wrestled together!  Blech! 

So, now while mom is having the best day ever cause she can run around and talk and talk and talk about the new baby coming, I have to keep busy and so I found a cool sheep on the bed in the spare room and got busy with it.

Used to be, that I could not go in the spare room cause it had a closed tight door, but NOW I sleep in the spare room with mom cause she says the new bed sucks and she isn't gonna sleep on that thing for love nor money and dad tried to give her money the other day to cuddle with him in that stupid bed and then mom must have gotten upset cause she got all wiggly and a great rumpus started like I've never seen before and I think I blacked out for about 45 seconds, but when I came to, mom said - NOT NO! NUH UH!  I'm not coming back here until the new bed comes" and I heard Dad saying some prayers that started with "Dear Jesus....."

Anyway - back to the sheep.  So, I got the sheep and plucked out his eyes and ripped off his nose and then got the stuffing out of his head and it was the BEST DAY EVER I thought, but then mom got on the phone and I played and played and who knew that sheep feet are loaded with little beady things!   Woooo  hoooo!  Those things go every where!  Like snow inside!

But mom says it was her fault cause she should have taken the sheep away right away, and now it's in the trash.  But... I want to show you a picture of the stuff I leave alone!  Ya huh!  See that giant thing on the door?  Well - that freaked me out and I leave THAT alone.  I will go by it when a bell goes off in my house - which means a person has appeared on the other side of that door, but then, I go away - pretty fast.

See!  I'm almost a good boy!!  Wow - that was a lot of news, eh?  Well, mom says it's been building up and she says that now that she can talk about the new baby, well - it's likely that the city will warm up several degrees as all her hot air and excitedness gets out of her!  Good news for the people I guess. . . . .

So that's it!  We are busy thinking up names for the new baby and I keep yelling "Sheepy!  Sheepy!" but mom says NOARDIE!, people are never named "sheepy" and so I have to think more. 

Hope you are having the BEST DAY EVER and xox to everyone one!  

Love, Ardie the Destroyer

 
 



Pupdate from the Crate: Swirly Fishing and Scary Things

Hey, hey, hey....guys...guys....guess what?  Oh Hi.  Well here is what I have to say today about being scared of stuff that is happening right now but I'm gonna show something I'm NOT scared of and you will think I'm really really brave!

So you see this?  Mom brought this in from someplace I don't know about and took off the cover and ta-da!  This is here and nope, I didn't even bark once and I didn't even mess with with it cause it seems to be special and Dad said "oh grrrreat!  I can't wait to get the phone call about this." And mom said no dog before me, not even Bruno ever touched this, so I'm not gonna either (but I did try to examine the broom thing a little closer and I got a LOOK from mom and so I just stepped away).  I'm pretty brave, unless it is a stuffed rabbit sitting on a horsey when you least expect it.

Since there was that incident with the aliens in the house last week, Mom thought for sure I would freak out about this, but I'm just fine with it.  But guess what I'm NOT so fine with?  What is happening outside, something Mom calls FALL and stuff gets ON me from everywhere!  It is falling from the sky, something ruffles my fur, probably an invisible alien trying to touch me, and it is NOISY!  All kinds of spooky noises come from the "up-there" and then everything on the ground moves around and goes swirly around me.  I never know where to look next.  🙀🙀🙀. Sorry, I had to use a scaredy cat emoji cause they don't make dog faces, but you get it.

So another thing I learned new was something mom calls "fishing" and I didn't even know I was doing it!  I learned about it real fast when mom called dad in a hurry up after she found a ton of really wet little wads of stuff all on her bedroom floor and saw a trail of water leading back to dad's swirly room.

So what happened, was that I was going there to get a drink out of the swirly, cause dad leaves the swirly open just for me, and what do you know but hey! there was floaty stuff in there!  Hah!  Dad left me something to play with!  

Now don't freak out, cause mom did really really bad when she saw it and called dad in giant panic DEMANDING to know if he did something called "flushed" that morning or if he thought I ate people poop out of the swirly.  Blech.....does she think I'd do THAT?   hmmmm......

Boy was she fired up!  All I was doing was playing in the swirly with the floaty paper stuff then it stuck to me so I got it off on the carpet and I did it again and again till all of it was out, even ALL the water in there.

Well, I heard mom say to dad "THIS IS NOT FUNNY!" And he told her it was just clean water, and yes, he flushed cause he isn't a complete moron, and every morning after he makes himself beautiful, he wipes his sink and counter with clean toilet paper.  He forgot to flush after that part, so she should be happy he is keeping his bathroom clean......

Wow.  That was a tense time.  I keep going back looking for something to play with in the swirlys we have around here but mom seems to be one step ahead of me. 😤😤

Well. I have to go now.  I have a vet appointment today cause I barfed up again today and Mom is worried.  So, I will let you know what we find out and in the meantime, I hope you have the BEST DAY EVER and good luck with your fishing - if you do it!

xox   Ardie

Pupdate from the Crate: Pup Catching Up!

Hello to my best friends in the whole world!  I'm sorry I've been gone for a while but too much happens too fast and I'm finding out my mom is a slug sometimes and she won't help me with my computer stuff unless I jump on her Ipad while she is playing online poker or something and DEMAND attention but then I don't get to go on the computer cause she gets grumpy.

Well, anyway.  Today, I lifted my leg when I peed!  Mom was amazed and I thought it was really cool except I didn't keep my balance good, and I did it by sticking my leg out backward and didn't lean right like boy dogs do so I almost tipped over.  Then I decided to do it again and when I had to potty I lifted my leg more out to the side....but it was my FRONT leg and I could barely hold it up while I was trying to squat and balance.

But the good news is I didn't wet my front leg, which I've been doing a lot more of lately, and I've got to find a better way to potty, I think.

I'm sure you heard Mom left me for 700 days and went to a sewing camp to make a coat that Dad says he could buy her a coat for a lot less money than a plane ticket, a week in a hotel, all that fabric and.....well, I stopped listening to him cause he gave me marshmallows at night, and man are they good!

I quit looking around the house for mom around the 300th day.  I was sorta sad, but then every day I got to go to day care for the whole day and I played and played and played and it was the best day ever cause dad also let me sleep with him even tho mom said none of that while she was gone. 

Then, you know my dew claw has been infected and I took medicine that dad had to end up pushing down my throat because I have a Super Ardie taster and I can find that pill in anything  -even yogurt and peanut butter and I spit it out.  Now, dad told mom how to work me and now SHE even puts in my throat so I can't spit it out, but then she gives me a yummy treat and kisses me all over my face so I'm ok.

But then, last week I threw up a lot, and on Saturday, mom says maybe I even throwed up some blood so she is giving me a tummy medicine and watching me like a hawk but I didn't do it today.  I only do it at night, in my crate and mostly it isn't food, but that is deeeee-sgusting to talk about so you need to call my mom if you want to talk about that stuff.  She will keep you posted.

So then, one day, after my Deana came with the wild-people puppy who screeches at me, I came into the house and totally flipped out.  I screamed my lungs out twice in 10 minutes cause some ALIEN got into our house and scared the daylights out of me.

When my Deana comes, she helps mom with the heavy cleaning and mom says she is an angel, so I watch her drag Oreck around by his long neck, then she does something with the Steam Monster that breathes hot hot steam and makes our floors wet.

Well then, she left and I came into the kitchen and as I came around the island to get a drink - THERE IT WAS!  I froze in my tracks and started the warning alarm at full blast!  Mom was going the other way so she didn't see it but I scared her so bad she almost threw her bottle of water on the ceiling.  This was an EMERGENCY!!

I could not even go near that thing!  OMG!  I was yelling "MOM! MOM! MMMMOOOOM!!!" and she came to the rescue cause she went to my bowl where that thing was and touched it.  Then I could see it was safe to come over and what do you know......hah.....I'm a silly dog.....it was the drip towel that sits on the floor by my water bowl to wipe my face!!!  Well, that was a relief.  I thought it was an alien.

Then, just as I was over that fit, I saw IT!  Out of the corner of my eye, there IT was and the screaming started all over again!   MOM mom momom mmmmmyy  hellpppp!  It's an ALIEN!  SAVE US ALL!

It scared me so bad my hair stood up and made mom jump to the rescue again.  She always has this very calmy voice and she always starts with  "Geeze Lousie, Ardie!" and then we go look together.  Well, I'll tell you this - I never expected to see THAT in my living room!  Mom showed me that it was a stuffed lamb sitting on a toy walking horsie that the people-puppy left out when he went home.   Geeze Louise!  They let little people play with such scary stuff?  Man, that little guy is really brave. 

So now, mom says we sold our house and have to find a rental that will allow me.  That is no easy trick here, so she is going nuts plus she can't make any down payments until she has the money in her hands (I've been listening carefully to lots and lots of talking from Dad on this topic so I'm understanding a lot more) and Mom says she doesn't want to share a bathroom with dad cause they have had separate bathrooms for 10 years and she wants to sleep on the first floor so no steps and can't be scared to stay alone in a place, and why does it have to be now when Dad is so busy and can't be even in town to help us move and.....I need a nap.

Well, that's it for today.  I need to get the stuffing out of my piggy. 

Sending you Super Ardie love and kisses and prayers that no one shoves a pill down your throat today and that you have the BEST DAY EVER!

xox - Ardie, the piggy un-stuffer

Pupdate from the Crate: Helping with Knitting and Under Attack

Hey everyone!  Happy Tuesday!  I had such a busy  weekend with my family I don't know where to start except with maybe my latest project the I call "helping mom get her knitting thing out of a sweater.  Here it is

Do you see what a good job I did? 🤗🤗 Mom says it was all her fault for leaving her knitting basket on the floor where my nose goes past all the time, and yes she was gonna take that rubbery knitting needle thing she calls a "holder" out of that sweater, but .....not for a while.  She is such a good knitter, I'm sure she is gonna fix it right up in her spare time.  For the record, that plastic rubbery thing was pretty fun to chew up!  Like a noodle kinda.....

So, in my classes I learned something call "touch" and that is where I put my nose onto someone's hand when they say  TOUCH and then they give me a yummy treat.  I have decided I'm going to do my own training time with mom and use TOUCH to teach her I want stuff even if she doesn't ask me.  So when she isn't paying attention, I touch her butt with my nose.  It works pretty good cause her butt is easier to reach than her hands are most of the time.  Sometime I have to touch it harder, and sometimes my teeth take over and they are so excited they give mom a little flea nibble which is cool with dogs but not so much with people cause then I have to back up really, really fast and yell "I'm SORRYI'MSORRYI'MSOREEEEEEYYYYYYY!!" Just so she knows I couldn't help it.

My bald-puppy-baby came over and he thinks he is the BOMB!  He can now chase me and he makes screeching noises that I can't figure out if he is hurt or if that is how those things bark.  He put his finger in my nose one day, and that wasn't the greatest, but mom said he can't control his weird little paws yet, so I have to be understanding.  I was all exhausted and sleeping under the table yesterday when Sawyer-puppy saw me and I could not believe it.....he came under the table WITH ME!  His mouth was wide open and he kept barking something like "Gack!" which is his favorite word I think and he was coming straight for me with his mouth wide open!  Nope!  Not gonna happen, weird little puppy!  I was outta there in a heartbeat.  No place is safe from that odd little puppy now that he goes all over on two legs instead of four.

My cousin Murray was over and we wrestled and pooped in the yard together!  It was the best day ever!  

Today, Mom was busy on the phone and didn't listen to me saying "HEY Mom,  HEEEEYYYMOM! Heyheyeheyeyyyyy!" So I used touch to get her attention.  Instead of touching her butt I decided to go over to the side sofa table and touch her glass of iced tea.  She was looking right at me, so I had to do it really really fast.  Man, my mom can really move some days.  The table is now squeaky clean thanks to me!

So, today is gonna be a hot one, and I need to rest up because we are under attack from the squirrels here, and I need to always be on guard.  They are bombing us with little things from the sky.  Sometimes they eat those things, cause I've smelled a gazillion of them and I can smell their tiny little hands and teeth all over them.  I tasted a few, but they are blech. But, I still make it my job to smell every single one of those squirrel-bombs that they put all over the yard, especially on my way in and out to potty.  Ya never know when one of those things could attack.  Mom says it makes for very long trips to and from the pen, but I don't know cause I'm too busy.  Mom said I need to quit sniffing them so close or one will get stuck on my nose, maybe.  

Hope you are having the best day ever, and are excited to see what comes next in your day!  

Xox. Ardie, the Touching Little Puppy

Pupdate from the Crate: Pod-cats and More Pillow Fights!

Happy Dog Day people!! I am  just about to pass out from swimming with my people-sister Leslie and I wanted to say Hidey Ho before I go into a coma.

I don't really swim unless Leslie drags me into the pool and then I try to walk on water to get out as fast as I can.  But actually I'm doing a lot better since she came two days in a row now and I let her grab me and I don't even bite her!

I've been taking medicine for my skin infection and I'm Super Ardie using my super taster powers to find the pills mom puts in my food.  I'm extra good at getting all the peanut butter off the pill and then I spit it out, all clean and shiny!  Sometimes I don't, but mostly I do.  Mom likes this game!  She gives me all kinds of you my stuff.  Dad just pushes it down my throat and makes both me and mom grumpy.

So, while I was at Aunt Margie's for a while, I had the best day ever!  Then I went home. Then, Aunt Margie saw that me and my invisible friend had a pillow fight in the bedroom sometime when after she made up the bed.  Those are the best ever times for pillow fights and under the cover rumpus!

I keep having pillow fights!  They are awesome!  Mom says I can't do it, but my invisible friend comes along and gets INSIDE the pillows and it makes me crazy!  I just can't stop myself.  My invisible friend got in trouble for making me tear apart mom's fancy pillow and she has grounded the invisible friend from certain rooms in the house.  Lately, he is only getting inked the couch cushions but that's getting old.

Mom has been talking to me a lot lately.  She got something called pod-cats and I thought we were having kittens over but she said NO! ARDIE!  It's something that talks and teaches her stuff.  I tried to listen but it is something about our brains and why we do the stuff we do and what makes glow sticks work, and what happens when there is a hangover and are aliens real.  Phew!  That pod-cats talks all day long and I'm sick of him so I close my ears and wait for mom to give me the  highlights, which she will sometime when we are stuck in traffic in the car and one little thing is stuck in her head and she just won't leave it alone.  I want to watch the wolf TV again, and I jump on the black TV changer a lot but I can't get it to work, so I go off to play with my friend in the pillows.

One day, mom let me sleep in bed with her while dad was on a business trip, but she got exhausted.  She said she had to keep waking up to see if I was still there, still breathing.  What a funny thing.  She says I sleep to quiet and still so that she worries in her sleep.  Yeah, almost drove me nuts too.

So, happy dog day!  I'm outta here before the next talking starts on her IPad.

Xox Ardie the Amazing Pill Ejector!

Pupdate from the Crate: Pillow Fights and Psychotic Nerves

Hi everyone!  My poor mom has been very still most days, trying to fix her psychotic nerve in her back.  She calls it something different, but it makes ME psychotic when no one can play with me.  So, I have a new imaginary friend, who might or might not be Emma cause she would incite me to do these new things but I'm not sure, so I now have a blast having pillow fights everywhere!

Look at us go!  See how I toss all the couch pillows on the floor?  Sometimes my invisible friend hides inside the couch cracks or inside the bed covers or under the cushions and taunts me to find her until I go psychotic and toss pillows everywhere!

I go baking nuts trying to find that invisible little angel-dog who really really is IN THERE and only I can see it and hear it.  Sometimes, they jump right inside the pillows and I shake them to try to get them out but I'm getting an idea that isn't cool.

Mom gets grumpy when I do it, and stops me.  Yesterday, she was gone all night and Dad let me tear apart Leslie's bed, the couch and the bonus.....all the trash in the back bathroom!  It was all paper stuff, paper towels, tissues and boy was that fun!  I had the best night ever!

It looks like mom's psychotic nerve was better last night cause she followed me everywhere after she cleaned up stuff from my invisible friend dog and me playing.

Then, it was raining, and I was feeling weird about being outside so mom took me to the pool area before bed and don't you just know it mad pe me feel good enough to poop so I did.  BUT....right at the start some alien in the woods made a moo-moo sound and it scared me so bad I pooped all the way across the cement patio pool deck cause every time I could poop, it mooed again and it scared the wits out of me.  Mom s waiting for the rain to stop today before she goes out to clean up.  I don't think it was her best night ever, yesterday.

Hope you stay dry and can poop without getting scared today.

Xox Ardie (and his invisible friend who came by long enough this morning to help get some pictures of the pillow fights)

Pupdate from the Crate: The Shredder Strikes Again

Hellooooo Everyone!  Mom has a boo boo in her back and hips and leg and can't move very well.  She is going to something called a Chiropractor to help her stop from yelping and gasping and bending over like something is about to explode.

So while she is sitting a lot, I'm keeping busy!  Mom says this is all you need to know about today.  She could not take pictures of my bedroom shredding cause she had to sit back down. This is just my work in our living room and in our family room!  Man!  I amaze myself!  Dad's special whiskey box was extra fun!  Wish I could read - it had some special words on it I think, and some foamy stuff that made pops when I ripped it!  

I did that while Mom was on the phone a few times today.  I just know how to keep busy, don't cha think?  :)  

 Poor mom.  I need a play date to get my energy out so she can rest but even getting me in the car is a trick for her.  Time for me to rest up for my next adventure so I can still have the BEST DAY EVER!

Love, Ardie the Super Shredder

Pupdate from the Crate: The Best Wolf Show Ever!

Hi everyone! I did something wonderful last night!  I watched a wolf on our TV!  I watched the whole movie but it was so late that I took naps during the commercials. I LOVED that show!  I watched it with my whole body.  My ears and tail and eyes were all working as I watched the wolf grow up from a puppy to a mommy wolf and sometimes she was in trouble and I had to sit straight up if she got into a fight and help her with my energy. 

Mom and dad watched me more than they watched the wolf movie.  Maybe they never saw a dog watch TV, I don't know, but I LOVE that show!  I sat right straight up when the wolf was pouncing on a squirrel and was screaming in my head get 'em! get 'em or you'll starve to death! And she got a squirrel and could live to have puppies.  I don't know what happened because I watched it for almost an hour and my mom said it was bedtime and I had to go to sleep.

One time, I was watching so hard, I drooled all over the floor!  I was on the sofa, with my front paws hanging off so I could sit up or lay down super fast and the next thing I know, I'm like a zombie sitting perched up staring at the TV with my mouth open and spit just drooling out.  I heard mom and dad laughing and it snapped me out of it.  I think maybe I got the hots for the she-wolf but I just was in a zone so I really don't know.

Mom says she's going to let me watch another animal show soon and maybe I can then get a TV in my crate.  Uh.  Maybe, you never know.

I've been busy digging a trench around my horse pad in my pen.  It is a big black rubber pad used for horses that mom put in the dog yard so that Bailey and Emma didn't always lay in dirt and so that it got warm fast in the winter time.  They LOVED outdoors so much they got fussy inside and their dog yard is sweet!  But, I think their might be something under there so I'm digging around it.  Then, my feet went off track and started to dig under my dog yard fence, which isn't OK with mom and she is looking for something to put there so I don't escape.  I also dug up and chewed off a giant root from the tree and it plays with me!  We play tug and zoom!  That tree really holds on tight and when I get all wound up from tugging, I get the zoomies so fast that sometimes I fall down and spin and knock into things.  I'm so fast, I'm not even used to my own powers!

Inside, when I need to chew, I love this toy and now that I've figured it out, I can get the rings right out faster than anything!  It used to take me 10 minutes to figure it out, but now I can do it in 2!  When I'm done, I run right back to mom and toss it at her!  Yep!  I drop it like a hot potato and give her the look - fill 'er up mom!  and sometimes she does but sometimes she puts it away.

I am getting smarter and smarter and mom is working to find ways to keep me busy.  She says she is more tired now than when I was a puppy puppy and now that I'm 8 months old I'm almost a teen ager and she is trying to teach me quiet activities like reading and puzzles, and stuff where she can sit on a chair and point and I do the rest.  Well, I'm not liking those games real well.

So the other days, I did these things:  I took a shower with mom but I didn't know it was going to happen cause she was in my cool tile place without me and when I went in there with her, stuff was tapping me on the head that I could not see, the floor was all wet and it was steamy.  It was interesting, but I like my cool tile place better when mom isn't in it with me. 

Then, I ate roast beef and it was the BEST EVER and I even got it myself while mom was cleaning the dishes and kitchen.  If I hadn't been making such slurpy noises in the family room with my hunk of beef, I bet she'd have never missed it cause there was so much on the leftover plate. . . .

And do you know what?  We got this thing that makes the air and ceiling smell like food!  Yep, when it is on, I smell the best smells coming from the ceiling!  I walk all over looking for the food, but I can't find it!  Somehow, this new cooker thing puts smells way way up in the air like nothing else and then suddenly, they are gone!  but that is where the roast beef came from and I think I like it!

So everyday I'm busy with new amazing adventures, doing my training things like twirl, crawl, stay, and doing something new called "shedding all over" which I never knew about and makes Oreck come out a lot and I can't help it cause I just stand up and a big ball of fur just flies off of me in a cloud and sticks to everything but mom is adjusting - sort of- cause I give her my ears back-eyes wide open lovey dovey look and she calms down!

Today is an Oreck and Sawyer day and my day to hide on the patio.  Sawyer is walking now and can hold stuff while he walks and can even throw things while he walks.  What a scary little thing!  I saw two of them in the park the other day and one was super cool trapped in a wheely-cage and I like that one, but the one who was NOT in a cage came right for me trying to touch me and I can't have that!  They are too wobbly on their own little legs and so squeally and they open their mouths so I know they are going to bite me.  I know I only like them when they are in their cages. 

So, I'm going to have the BEST DAY EVER and stay away from Sawyer and Oreck today.  I love my mom and she loves you so I do too - so long as you are not a Sawyer-baby-puppy.

xox  Ardie

Pupdate from the Crate: Frankenstein Oil and Alien Bambi-things

Hey friends!  I've been off having the BEST DAYS EVER but mom is super busy cause our house is for sale and she is always doing something with Oreck and Deana and that bald-puppy-baby Sawyer these days and sometimes she is too tired to let me on the computer.  This is what happens when get puppies get sent to old people-parents.  I guess they just lose their zoomies really fast.

So anyway, speaking of zoomies, I've been going nuts here, especially yesterday.  It wasn't my entire fault, but I just had to run and roll and fuss because mom put Frankenstein oil on my little belly boo boo and man, does that stuff S.T.I.N.K!  I could not get away from it!  Mom told some lady that the oil has really high vibrational energy and it is a healing oil and it has been used since before the Bible and it is used to bless stuff, heal skin, and raises your spirits.  Well, IT DID THAT!

After the Frankenstein oil, I went crazy!  I ran around the patio throwing all the cushions off the sofas and chairs -ALL of them.  Then I raced into the house and threw all the pillows off my people-sister's bed onto the floor and the best one ever, the round rolled one accidentally got shredded from it's beautiful beaded pillow cover cause I loved shaking it so hard that it just exploded.

Well, when things calmed down, mom went for a shower and I took a nap on her bed.  Uh....nope...I didn't.  Actually.....I, uh....decided to help mom put new sheets on her bed.  Yep!  First I took off ALL the sleeping pillows and the fancy pillows and just put them all over.  Then, I squiggled into the covers and got so tickly and goofy under there that I forgot all what I was supposed to be doing - taking a nap - that somehow ALL of the sheets and the cover and the fluffy feather thing were all off the bed onto the floor.  Nothing was left on.  Man!  Was mom surprised!  By the time she got out of the shower, I was exhausted and sleeping in the middle of the naked bed.  Funny, the shower must dull sound cause I was having a royal rumpus and she didn't hear a thing!

It was cause that oil made me extra vibrating and I could not sit still. I'm sure of it.

Now, to keep me all wired up, I have to be on the look out for these 3 little spotted alien things mom calls Bambies.  They are magical - I know they are- cause they appear out of nowhere and then they FLY on their stick legs and disappear right into the woods and you can NEVER see them until they sneak up on you again.  One second they are there - the next gone - and they are so quiet, even when you scare them they don't scream or anything!  They must be aliens.  

The Bambies run behind my dog yard and when I see them, I go BeZERK!  I yell and yell " GET AWAY!  THIS IS MY YARD!  I'M TELLING MOM!" and if they don't disappear, I get worried that they might pounce on me with their tiny hoofy feet and poke my eyes out, so that is when I go into my HulkArdie mode and grab the fence with my teeth and shake the daylights out of it to show them how strong and fierce I am and they better go back to outer space RIGHT NOW!

Sometimes the Bambies know I'm inside with mom and they come right out into our yard so bold and everyone can see them and I lose my mind!  Mom tells me it is ok, they are just visiting, but I don't trust them.  They are using their mind control on mom, making big eyes at her and twitching their fluffy tails but I can see right through them.  I can't let them into our yard - I must save my family no matter what it takes.

Man, if I have that Frankenstein oil on me when the Bambies come around. . . . well.....that would be all she wrote for those spotted-baby-disappearing-aliens.

So, now our house is SUPER clean, and I mean super clean and now we are doing what mom calls the "hardest part ever" which seems to be sitting around and checking her phone for something she calls "feedback".  

Hah!  I think that's what I'll call it when I tell the Bambies to get out of my yard - yeah - FEEDBACK!  Bwahahahaaaa!

Hope you are having the BEST DAY EVER and giving your feedback to your friends so they don't sit around all day being sad looking at their phones.  

XOX  Ardie   (PS  Mom wants me to say that the oils is NOT Frankenstein oil - it is something like Franklycents.  Whatever.  It still raises my vibrations!)

Pupdate from the Crate: I'M BAAAACKKKK!!!

Hidey Ho Everyone!  I'm BACK!  I'm back to being SUPER ARDIE the amazing flying, jumping, zooming puppy!  Ya huh!  I had a not so best day ever on Monday when I got an ear infection and sent mom into a panic cause I stayed in my crate all day, even with the door open.  I just feel safe there and I love my new giant townhouse crate and I slept all day and when I was awake, I had sad eyes.

BUT - TA DA!  I was better by 11:00 AT that NIGHT!  Suddenly, my legs got all squirmy and they sped off to the family room and I grabbed my head-less walrus and was ON FIRE!  It was the best case of the zoomies I've had in a long time, but mom said that at 1:30 a.m. I had to go to the crate for sleep.  But, not to worry, today is Wednesday and I'm still flying through the air, landing on the sofa, bouncing off the footstools and racing everywhere.  So - this is THE BEST DAY EVER!

On my sick day, I was laying in mom's bedroom when the giant fluffy sheep somehow got off the back of the chair and mom thought I did it, but what she heard from the bathroom was me trying to put the big guy back and convince him he should not have launched himself down by me even if he was trying to make me happy, that mom would kill us both if she found out and while I was talking very quietly .....and trying to shake some sense into him. ..... we got busted.

Mom peeked around the corner to see what it was all about but the sheep and I are really really fast.  We instantly laid down, with my chin holding his head down and we gave a big soft sigh and gave mom our "lovey dovey every-thing-is-good-down-here-mom" look.  Well, that didn't last long and the big guy got a really good talk from mom and put back on the chair.

Now, at training I'm learning to spin, put my "paws up", shake, and walk on a loose leash.  Man, that stuff is hard.  Specially now, when a bee-you-teeful black lab is now in my class with me.  Hubba hubba!  I wanted to go wrestle her right away but I had to stay on my own side of the room and try to ignore her.  I do have to admit, the hotdogs took my mind off that babe!

So now, I'm like 7 months old now and mom wants to know when I'm gonna learn to lift my leg to go potty so I quit peeing on my own feet.  To tell ya the truth, I don't even notice it cause I look at birds, worms, the sky, my mom - anything - while I go cause I'm just that way.  She seems to be disgusted and I need to wash my feet a lot now.  

In my training mom and I play "find me" and she turns away and I get in front of her.  I do really good at that!  I've decided to play it with mom now.  I do it from my people-sister's bedroom where my crate is so it should be MY bedroom but its not.  Anyway, I sneak away and go right on top of the bed and just lay there then I say "mmmm-ark!"  which is bark talk for Mom! find me, in a quiet voice like if people put their hand over their mouth.  Just a few times and she comes looking and there I AM!!  I wag my tail and roll over and show her how cool it is that I'm on my people-sister's big bed!   You should see her face!

Anyway, mom had a ton of stuff to do, and she stepped in dog poop today with her good sneakers on, which I don't know why she had them on cause she has special rubber shoes for that job but who knows why she didn't wear them this time.  And she is all upset about pee pee on my foot!  

Mom says that we are somewhat disturbed by this blog program that keeps freezing up and changing fonts on us.  We sometimes have to go to different computers to do one post and that makes her so crabby.  Somewhat disturbed is what she is saying now instead of "pissed off" cause she is trying to keep me from learning bad words and stuff and to be a tolerant and patient puppy, whatever that means.  I just let it go in one ear and out the other and still have the best day ever and sometime I run around and say "pissed off! Pissed off! Hahahahahahaaa!" And I know she can't hear it so it's ok.

Thanks for helping me get well by prayers and wishes and I love you so much!  Gotta go shred......xox Ardie the reasonably tolerant puppy

Pupdate from,the crate:

Hello everyone!  This is my really happy face in the car from having the best day ever at dog day care

Doesn't it look like I'm glowing?  Hahaha! That's the sun you crazy people!  My mom has a very tiny car that I barely fit in there in the back seat but I do so far and as happy as I was to go see my puppy-dudes and play spit head all day, I was just as excited to come home and mom took this picture of me five seconds before I passed out.

I get so excited to go to day care that mom said I nearly wag my tail off.  That can't really happen can it? 😳😳. She says I swing my whole little butt so hard I'm gonna need a chiropractor pretty soon, but I just can't stop it!  It's the best place ever, except for Aunt Margie's house!

So I had to go there today cause we had a showing on our house and mom needed to keep my hair off  of everything and mop floors and she's been at it for two whole days now and I heard her say she got so exhausted she ate an entire bag of fruit gummies before she came to get me and now she want to throw up.

So, we are having a nap and, then we might sleep right through to tomorrow to when the plumbing guy comes because this morning dad might have pooped too big or too much or something cause the toilet flowed over and some other stuff and mom had to clean extra hard before the showing, which is why she needed the fruit gummies.  

Sheesh.  If people pooped in the yard, none,of this would,happen, but don't tell dad I said it cause mom catches him sometimes sneaking in the woods just to do a #1, and it makes her nuts and she says "FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE!  We have 6 toilets inside!!  This is NOT the country!! ". And dad laughs and says he likes to go out in nature, and mom hardly figured it out for a long time, because she thought Bruno was going potty in strange places in the snow in winter and then that couldn't happen so she thought wild dogs were coming into the yard and that couldn't happen, and then she thought their must be a BIG squirrel someplace that visited us.....but.....it was only dad,  and I can just roll around my crate laughing about it cause he is so funny to do that, just like me!

Anyway, mom says stop talking about potty stuff and take a nap, so I will.

Hope you had the best day ever, and that you get to go potty wherever it makes you happy!   Xox Ardie, the exhausted glowing puppy!

Pupdate from the Crate: it's always something

Hellooooo my dear friends!  I bet you have been waiting to see how my whole day with dad alone worked out, right?  Well, it was X-awe-sting!  Mom came home late at night and could not find me.  Dad was at his computer in his office.  Well, I was in my crate with the door open cause I took myself there myself and I could barely lift a paw when she came in.  I spent the whole day with dad, in the garage crate while he cleaned for FIVE hours and I know that cause he told mom FIVE hours about a dozen times and it was really true!  Then my people-brother came with Deana and that people-puppy Sawyer and we went straight to the pool and stayed awake and on high alert for three hours which is really true, because they went swimming and I was stuck there staying as far away as I could from everyone and every drop of water. Then I arte dinner and passed out in my crate and that is it.  Dad told mom I was EEEEmazing because I didn't pee on anything and I didn't eat anything, and I didn't run away but.....dad said I have to be watched in the garage pen because I kept trying to find cloth stuffed in holes in the cool-a-roo cot but that was because my teeth go really bored.

Then yesterday I got a tummy sickness and didn't eat my Monday dinner or Tuesday breakfast and my tummy was doing pings and squealy noises and gurgles and I could not lay down so I had to stay the whole day at the vet 😩. But nothing was wrong and I get to eat boiled beef and rice, eggs and broth and that is really yummy!  Mom said she had an old car with a bad radiator that pinged and squealed like my tummy and she was so worried.

Hey!  I am now 44 lbs big and I outgrew my baby crate and I got moved up to the mansion crate!  Ya huh!  The biggest crate in the world!!  It was my Bruno's crate and mom said it is wayyyyy to big for me but dad said we are doing a "financial adjustment" and there is no need to buy a bigger smaller crate.  Just get a look at the difference!

I am thinking I might have a big dog party in there with my buddies and we will have lots of room!!  Mom got sad cause now I'm big, and it reminds her of Bruno who never used this crate after he was 2 years old and might not have even fit in it when he was 8 cause he was a GIANT!    This is him!

Mom has been working her fingers to the bone cause we are maybe having a house showing tomorrow.  Poor mom, she said she wants some time to work in her sewing room, but this house won't let her.  Two big trees fell yesterday and her lightbulb blew out glass all over her sewing room, and a dead bird was in the middle of the driveway and its that time of year for spiders everywhere and a groundhog has dug a giant hole by her studio and the repair guys aren't calling back to fix the barn where the other tree fell last week or so ago and......she says she just wants to cuddle me and then sew.

So you see, mom was worried for nothing when she did her rescue drive, but just so her energy wasn't wasted, My tummy gave her something to worry about a whole day later.  That mom!  She is always right!  Something WAS gonna happen!

Hope you are all staying cool and having the best summer day ever!  With love, Ardie, the little big dog!

Pupdate from the crate: Saturday's Project

Hi everyone, happy Saturday!  I am starting the best day ever by working on my new project that I call "deconstructing toy bin".  Mom says this toy bin came 9 years ago to hold baby Bruno's toys and lots of the toys in that basket were his.  That big goofy boy didn't play with a lot of toys and must have saved them for me.  But guess what I discovered in that basket?

Holes!  Ya huh!  Well, no body but me could see them cause I have super Ardie eyes and most people don't see the holes in rugs, towels, toys or stuff like I can because there is usually fabric plugging them up but I CAN see them and it's my job to clear out those holes and set them free!

The more I worked at it, the more holes I found and then suddenly, ta daaaa!  A giant hole!  I'm gonna keep working at it till I find ALL the holes and get the fabric out of them!!!

I heard mom talking to dad and she said the next toy bin was going to be a metal bin.  I wonder if that will have holes filled with stuff too?  Well, mom says it's ok that I do this project and that I know not to find holes in other things.....except rugs....

Tomorrow, my mom is going on a long long drive to take a rescue dog to his new forever home and I am staying with dad for the WHOLE day!  Mom keeps telling him all kinds of things about how to watch me but she keeps saying over and over " if you can't keep Ardie with you all the time, or if you need to be alone someplace you CAN'T leave him out!  Please put him in his crate.  ARdie is FINE and Dandy in his crate and that is safer and better than leaving him wander because Ardie WILL find something to do and that is never a good thing".

You should hear her voice!  While she is talking, it goes up and down and sometimes gets louder on certain words but dad's words same the same "ok....sure...yeh...got it..."   Something tells me that tomorrow is going to be exciting!  Especially when mom gets home.

Gotta get back to my project!  Have the Best Saturday ever!

Xox Ardie, the amazing hole unstuffer, Goff

Pupdate from the Crate: Spit Head & Look-a-Likes

Yowza!  It's a hot one today so I hope you are finding the best cool spot you can find and enjoying this summer day.  Since I've been born, I could not imagine how weather can change so much and how lazy the hot days make you feel.  It's a good thing I was Super Ardie at day care today cause at home I'm now a sleepy Ardie.

When mom got me today, the day care lady said I had the BEST DAY EVER!  And mom said "oh was he good?" and the lady said "well, his head is covered in dog spit from so much wrestling so yeah - he was in doggy heaven today with his buddies!" 

Well, mom gagged and looked at me and thought I was in the pool there, but they said no, we were all playing inside and that soaked head was. . . yeah. . .. spit!  So, I got my head washed off as soon as I got home.

But what I wanted to really tell you about today is about my mom and me.  The dog training lady told mom that we kinda look like each other!  Bwahahaaaaa!  Yeah.....really....then mom started to think about it because the training lady said it again, "you do resemble each other - quite a lot!".  So, mom and I sat in front of the big mirror yesterday looking at each other and guess what - maybe we DO!  Here is what we noticed we have in commmon:

• small heads - bigger bodies  -   yep
• small ears, one kinda wonky - yep
• white-ish skin - yep
• pointy noses - yep
• small chins - yep
• small eyes - yep
• small teeth and thin lips - yep and yep
• eyebrows that go up and down - yep (and mom wanted to put makeup on mine to make them easier to see, but decided it would freak dad out too much)
• face whiskers - yep (oh crappers - mom didn't want me to tell you that one....)

So here is me and there over there is my mom and even though her picture is a couple years old she still looks like that so you decide!  

She told dad and he laughed and said that just because mom acts like me, probably makes her look like me even if she is not a puppy.

Before I take my crate nap for today, mom and I said prayers for the people of this world.  She says the people are afraid and scared and worried and they are doing sad, sad things.  Maybe you will help someone have the best day ever if you say a prayer for the world too.   I hope so.  I don't know any words to any prayers but I listen very carefully to mom and I always kiss her at the end of them so it is our puppy "Amen" to seal the deal.

OH - and PS - yesterday I got my tongue stuck frozen to the freezer rail!  YEAH, like I know, RIGHT?  Duh.  Well, mom got this amazing fishy stuff and put it in the refrigerator and I tried to get it out lots of times yesterday by poking around the outside of the fridge and scratching on the cabinet of the fridge but I couldn't get it.  Then, mom opened that bottom freezer door to get ice for her tea and that wonderful fishy smell came out of there and my tongue just leaped out of my mouth and . . .wham....I was stuck!  As fast as mom could say "YIKES ARDIE" I had pulled it off - it sounded like pulling a hole in a carpet, kinda, and don't worry, I'm totally ok because after that is when I wrestled the sheepskin rug...and let's not go over that one again.

So, no matter how hot it gets, keep your tongues out of your freezers and say your prayers for people to be better.   

xox     Ardie, the spit head, Goff

Pupdate from the Crate: Hot Day Adventures

Happy HOT HOT July 7 peeps and pups!  I am really hot today and trying to keep my cool.  But that doesn't mean I'm not busy!  Today, I have spent a lot of time trying to amuse myself while mom does errands and works around the house.  

This morning, she freaked out a little because while she was putting on her beee-utiful fancy white pants and beeee-youuuuuteeeful fancy blue swingy top for a trip out with Grandma Hinkle, and I was busy in the dog yard doing dog things before I had to go to the crate.

When she came to get to get me, boy was she surprised!  My little white face and long white legs were covered. . . and I mean C - O - V- E- R-ed in dirt - oh yeah - and water - - -the water made it really cool!  See, I have a nice bucket of water in my dog house and sometimes when I go to get a drink I think I might see a bug in there but mom thinks I see my own nose and then I try to get it with my mouth and my foot.  So that got boring and then I went to work on digging my hole to China.  

Well, I ran straight up to - OK - maybe straight INTO mom when I saw her coming and she started shouting and spinning in circles holding her top up and pushing me away, which is a super cool game and I wanted to play it even more!  There was a lot of wiping that went on in the next few minutes. . . .

Then today is cleaning day at our house when our Deana comes with the little people-puppy to help mom.  That little people-puppy is growing so fast!  Mom says he is 10 months old today and he is taking 3 or more steps all by himself!  I guess that's good for a people puppy, but would be really slow for a dog puppy!  Man, I can't even imagine having to be carried around for 10 months!  I'd go nuts!  

Well, I think that long wait has actually affected that people-puppy's brain. . . uh. . .trying to be kind here .....because, well, he tried to bite me today - right through the big glass door!  Ya huh!  He really did.  I was on the outside, staying safe from Oreck when he came right up to my place by the window and freaked me out so bad I jumped a mile high!  Then I see he could not get me so I just got back close to the door and thought it would be a good time to really check him out. 

 As soon as I got close enough to look at him - HE TRIED TO BITE me!  He put his mouth on the window and sucked his lips to the glass and showed me his two tiny razor sharp bottom teeth and his one bigger top tooth and then made a horrible noise while he banged on the window right at me!  Well!  I NEVER! Mom was laughing but she wasn't seeing that giant baby mouth from my side of the glass, and if she did, I'd bet she'd think twice before letting that kid near her face!

So after they left and mom kept cleaning, I dinked around for a while and it was so hot, but our air is on and then the lawn guys came and scared me so I went to find something to do.  Here it is

No - this isn't ME (giggle giggle) this is what I was working on!  Phew!  I know, right?  Bet you were thinking I started ripping my hair out at the skin, but nope - I decided to wrestle with mom's sheepskin rug that is in our guest bedroom, and boy, did it put up a good fight!  I wanted to keep on going, but when mom caught me she put a stop to it immediately.

I tried to explain that it wasn't my fur all over and that I wasn't hurt or anything and it was just us playing, but I'm starting to think she wasn't worried about me. I guess she likes that rug a lot.

Well, I can't worry about it.  I am remembering my last dog class yesterday when I learned to shake for a treat, and I also am learning "leave it"  which is something I don't really like to do because it is the opposite of doing something but it is really NOT doing something.  But, even when I leave a yummy treat alone when they say "leave it!", strangely, I get a different yummy treat!  It's the craziest thing ever.  Mom's a little slow on the go, and she is there clicking the clicker and saying words and dropping treats and I bite her fingers sometimes, and finally....... my teacher takes over and gets us all back on track.  Mom really needs some practice, but I'm helping her. 

So today, I hope you had the best HOT day ever and that your mom lets you get muddy if you want to, and keeps vampire babies away to keep you safe.  xox Ardie (Brown is the new white) Goff

Pupdate from,the Crate: Laughing rabbits and the Birds attack

Happy July 5 to all my friends!  What a weekend it was here!  This was my very first 4th of July and it was epic! Even without the baby bird fracas, it was pretty darn awesome!

So far, I'm not afraid of the big booms and bangs I heard here, I kinda just snoozed it away on the couch between mom and dad during our TV time, but what I DID DO this weekend was so cool!  I owe lots of my cool times to dad, because he keeps mom busier than usual - he is almost like a giant puppy mom says - because he is always getting into trouble too.

Mom seemed to notice that I am getting so big that she took a picture of me chill-laxin' on my favorite footstool, but I can't fit so good so mostly I need both footstools to chill on and lots of times I just fall off and make the best of it.

This weekend I spent time eating and finding cool stuff!  Dad was here the whole 4 days and when he is home there is a lot more kissing and a lot more food!  Dad is a great cook and I tasted a lot of his stuff because he also isn't a careful cooker like mom and he puts stuff out for me to taste whenever I want even if it makes mom crazy and she wants to put me in the crate, but dad said "no - honey - he is part of the family and you can't just put him in his crate when he gets into something or when we eat!  He will learn...."

So that is how I tasted the salad on the patio table and other yummy stuff this weekend!
While mom was busy with dad or something, I found stuff she hasn't seen in a long, long time!  Ya huh!  I brought out Bruno's best toy ever, a gooey, stiff Snoopy dog without ears and mom was so surprised!  She said "OH NO ARDIE!  That was up in the closet!  You can't have that!" I guess it is super special and I think it has magical powers because I can't even remember how I got it in the first place.  But, guys, in that same closet I found other stuff!

I found a laughing rabbit!  It is the BEST EVER and just like the laughing monkey that was here when I first came.  Mom thought she had thrown it out long ago, but I found it!  I LOVE the laughing rabbit because it is scary and fun at the same time.  Yep.  Just what puppies like!  It sits so still and quiet and then, just when I least expect it, it starts laughing and spinning all over the floor!  So I go into a fit of the yips and it makes me fly around the room and my legs get jumpy and I lose control and pounce on everything and then.....he goes silent.....he just waits....     Mom has a video but maybe can't load it up here.  She is trying.

And speaking of mom, she did ok this weekend with all the attention dad and I gave her.  First off, there was all that kissing and stuff and both dad and me always hanging on her, sitting right on her, and trying to breathe her same air which she seems to love for a while but then she starts pushing  me and dad away which is our super secret signal to each other to start wrestling and playing and mom says she should just let us hang on her cause that is quieter.

Anyway, she did so good, doing her embroidery stuff with colored strings and sharp things and then she had to water the plants on the patio and that started the fracas.  Once it started, she was done for.  Thankfully, it happened last night or who knows how it might have changed up the weekend.


So, you might know that mom hates birds.  She just freaks out and I hear her say she wants to launch them into outer space with a fly swatter when they come near, which I heard she did with a napkin once at a fancy outdoor restaurant in Columbus when she was eating on a patio and she really sent those little suckers flying until dad stopped her because other people at that place were getting upset......

Anyway, there are two bird nests on our front patio; one in the hanging flower pot and the other over the slider door edge.  Mom has been kind, leaving them alone except for watering the flowers there.  She has noticed little baby birds now peeking over the nests being fed by the moms and she gave them loud notice last week that they had ONE WEEK TO GROW UP AND MOVE ON before she was going to "take steps" to move them herself, but they didn't and in fact, I think they got an attitude about it.

Poor  mom was on the patio, minding her own business watering the plants away from the nests when the mommy birds freaked out and flew to a nearby tree chirping their lungs out which then freaked out the baby birds who just happened to figure out that maybe they could fly and go for their mommy birds, but they couldn't!  There were a ton of baby birds jumping out of the nests and trying to fly and landing on the ground all around my mom and she was jumping and yelling and the mommy birds were dive bombing her and the babies were thinking "hey cool we got wings and we can FLY!" and they bounced off the walls, the windows, ran under bushes and some even DID fly! 

I was laying in the living room, by the patio door watching all of this.  I could see some of them running around the ground and some trying to fly.  Everywhere mom went she spooked one of them and they shot out here and there. FYI  - Dad was watching TV and turned up the volume to hear his show....  So, finally, mom tossed the hose down and ran into the house.  I could hear her heart beating so fast, and she was swearing like a drunken sailor.

It took her all night to calm down, because now the birds were all messed up.  The tiny grey momma bird was in the big robin's nest with some of the babies who didn't fly, a cardinal somehow got into the mix and the momma robin was chasing baby birds all over the trees and bushes while the baby birds chirped their lungs out bouncing around up in the trees.  Mom said it was worse than trying to herd cats. 

After that, dad and I knew mom was SERIOUSLY freaked out so we just sat on the couch and got very quiet. The hose is still laying out there and mom keeps checking those nests from the office window and I think our out front plants are doomed.

Today started off pretty exciting too!  Dad went back to work and I started to find stuff to do while mom had her coffee.  I discovered I can get on my sister's bed now, and I brought out her little black bear from her pillows, but I guess it's special cause I can't have it.  So then, I went back and decided to look at mom's filing and business papers she keeps on that bed and I opened a package of papers and was just reading them when mom snuck up on me and told me NO ARDIE again already today....hmmmm....She needs to clean up that area today or else I think I'll do some filing for her.

I hope you all had the best 4th of July ever and maybe you can see my video on Facebook!

XOX  Ardie, the amazing discoverer of stuff nobody's seen in a long, long time

Pupdate from the Crate: Water Aliens and I Ate Soap

Hi everyone!  This is my first and BEST EVER summer of my life and I'm so busy every day that I can barely take time to post.  I can't believe I've only been here 60 days!  Ya huh!! I came here on April 1 and mom says today is June 30 and tomorrow will be my whole 2 months here!  We both feel like I've always been here and Aunt Margie shares me a lot so I feel like she is my other mom too and I'm pretty happy about that!

Well, this week has been interesting.  I'm getting so very big but mom hardly notices.  So yesterday I decided to eat soap.  I've been smelling it for a long time now when I play in her shower with hangy-down dog washy spray thing but guess what?  Suddenly, I can reach it wayyyyyyy up there on that tiny little shelf!  Yeah, I can so I did and once my mouth had it, my brain was in heaven! I shot right past mom in a split second and started to enjoy that bar of Neutragena soap!  I didn't take the Irish Spring soap....too spicy for me.

Right away mom knew something was up and she got me before I could really enjoy that soap, but I will tell you this.....I held onto the that bar of soap like no tomorrow!  Mom had to pry my mouth off it all the time I was giving her the "LOOK" out of the top of my eyes that says "NOPE.NOT GONNA. MINE! mine mine!"  She is one strong mom and I didn't get to keep the soap (sad face).

So, then I went looking for that soap while she was getting her makeup on and I remembered the same smell is sometimes in that big inside swimmy pool where I get a bath.  She calls it the Jacuzzi tub and it is really tall and she has to lift me in and out but the next thing you know, I was INSIDE that tub!  Hah!  My legs are growing!  I just popped inside and mom poked herself in her eye with her makeup stuff when I did it.  So while I'm searching for soap she says "well, young man, I hope you are happy.  Now you are in there and there's nothing you can do, so you will just need to sit there until I finish getting ready!"  she didn't seem quite as excited as I was that I could get in there by myself now.

So I decided to curl up and have a nap and wait it out.  Then, she left to get camera to show you all how I fit in the tub, but she never made it cause I just jumped right out of that giant tub and came along with her!  My mom is so easily amazed.  She must have a dull life because that was all she could talk about the whole day.  She told dad she remembered when Bruno figured out how to get in the tub by himself, and what a surprise it was when he got big enough to open the slider door to the bathroom and climbed right in the tub WITH mom!  I heard her say that there was no for her and a 100 lb dog so one of them had to get out, and Bruno was swimming then, so it had to be her and no one heard her calling for help (DAD!) so she had to do it all herself which she then said ruined her entire relax, and started a whole new bath privacy policy around our house.

Speaking of tubs, I've been having other water adventures this week! Ya huh!  I love the little pool, but I don't like our big pool at all,  in fact, it sometimes has aliens in it, and it does something funny to my people when they get in it....their legs disappear and they can't walk right.  They walk like the aliens in there....sort of just floating in a weird way and you can't predict when they will get sucked under and go completely invisible.  It is VERY SCARY and I can't get near it.  In fact, I scream my lungs out when an alien is in the pool and I see it. Sometimes it turns out to be dad, or my other people, but I tiptoe right up there hollering and yelling "I DO Believe in SPOOKS....I DO BELIEVE in spooks!" until my brain figures it all out.  Very scary, this pool thing.

Usually, these alien-water-things have no eyes, so you can never see what they are thinking, but man, once you get them out of water they play dead so good that you would never guess how speedy they are in water.  We have one captured now, under the picnic table and it just lays there with its huge round hole of a mouth, waiting, just waiting, for its chance to grab people and try to eat them around their middles.  Mom says it's something called an "inner tube" and it doesn't eat people, but I don't believe her.

We also had some sky aliens here that tried to get me, but I stayed far away and just watched them from the floor.  They keep getting smaller and smaller and don't move any more, so my trick of ignoring them seems to be working.

In my new best ever summer, I am learning to stay put in my dog yard for quite some time, like a bid dog, without freaking out.  One day though, I thought mom had forgotten about me and I called her and called her and she never came!  So, I decided to get quiet and sit still and use my mind to call her like I do when she gives me treats.  So I sat and waited.  I sat and stared.  I was like an Ardie statue.  I barely even blinked.  And you know what?  I had to sit like that for 20 HOURS before she came for me!  I haughty I was gonna die out there just waiting, but mom says I am exaggerating, but I am not.  She said it was less than 20 minutes and she was so proud of me that she watched me just sitting there all that time!  Well....I NEVER!!  I think I got tricked.  The next time I went out to my yard, I lost track of time and had a blast digging a cave in my dirt and I forgot to be worried for a long long time.  My mom has some super mind control over me!

So, now I see that my last post had 1,600+ page views!  Woooo hoooo!  Well, mom says don't get excited because that could be Aunt Margie and Aunt Nancy looking at it 600 times each, but I personally don't think so, so maybe I am getting famous?  Ha!  I'll buy my own bar of soap when that happens!

Have a beautiful best July ever and give soap a try, you won't know how yummy it is until you do!   Xox forever, Ardie