Well, you know how limber and twisty I am right? When I stretch, I go waaaayyyyyy out on my front legs until my back feet go on my tip toes then I keep going still even stretchier until my back feet flip completely over and I drag my back legs on the tops of my back feet like Ginger Rogers being dragged by Fred Astaire in a fancy dancing move. I love it! But that's not the coolest thing. The coolest thing is that I have amazing balance!
Today, when I was doing my morning business, and I was all scrunched up like you have to do to get the plumbing working, well all of a sudden in mid-poop I leaned far forward to smell something and discovered I can balance on my front two feet and poop at the same time while sniffing something!
Don't ya just think that is the coolest? I'm almost a circus dog!
Well, then later our big bald human puppy came over and we are still trying to figure each other out. He is about the same weight as me but he is a BEAST! I mean, I am a long lean lovin' machine but that little bugger is a rough, tough slobbering mass of screeching, gagging and arm-waving bundle of ....well....I don't know what yet. One minute I think he likes me, the next he hates me. What is it with these big bald puppies? They taste pretty good, but instead of licking me back or smelling my butt, he just gags and swats at me when I come near. Then, when his Momma comes and holds him up, he taunts me. Yes he does! He makes cute smiley faces and wiggley fingers at me and little laughing noises but when I come near its a whole different story. Mom took a video to prove that I'm not crazy and to show you how this bald puppy acts toward me. Sheesh. Well, I think I'll get it figured out soon because he comes here a lot and I don't he's going away any time soon.
On a bright note, it looks like the Feds have not been alerted to the "tag"incident and now Mom and I can go back out in public without our undercover disguises. Mom says the window for arrest and prosecution is very small and if you make it past an hour or so without getting arrested by the tag removal coppers you are usually pretty safe. Thanks to all who offered bail money and legal support for me. And thanks to all who are praying Mom won't go to Hell over her lying about her weight on her drivers license. OH CRAPPERS! I meant that Mom won't get in trouble for NOT correcting the nice man when he asked if anything had changed.....yeah....that's how she tells it.....
Mom says the bald puppy exhausted her and now WE need a nap. I said "WE who, ya got a mouse in your pocket.....hehehehe?" and suddenly I'm in the crate. I haven't known Mom very long at all but I can tell she gets grumpy when she is tired and being a wiseacre isn't gonna get me any extra cheese today.
Hope you are having the best day ever and I will work on my balancing act so maybe Mom can snap a picture next time! Xox Ardie the Arial Poop Artist.......or maybe not.....
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